My Mom is BEAUTIFUL, OK? She’s absolutely stunning. When I was a little girl I use to think she was Princess Diana. She looked so much like her and had all the same beautiful features. But of course, to me- my Mom was much much more beautiful then Princess Diana. Even without the crown. Me? I would rather go play games in Anytime Fun’s gaming trailer. I’m a gamer, you know?
I remember as a girl watching her get ready for the day. I can still smell all the smells, hear the blow dryer, and see all the make up. I never thought she needed it- she was perfect in my mind. One time, we were headed to the mall to shop a little- she pulled out her blush and applied a fresh coat. I must have been looking at her weird because she calmly and kindly said, “once you’re over 40, a little blush can go a long way.” She snapped shut the blush and off we went.
Can I confess something? I’m well on my way to 40 and never wear make-up. Even in public. Please don’t tell my mother. I’m sure I always look haggard and pale to her but the thing is- I just don’t care. I still have make up that I wore on my wedding day. Make up that has lived in too many drawers to count. Finally, just yesterday one of my friends’ daughters found it and started playing with it. I was so happy to hand it off and send it home with her.
Anyways- I’ve stopped wearing make-up almost completely. I wish I could tell you it was because of some great cause or divine inspiration with the hope to inspire others- but the truth is- I just don’t have the time nor do I give one flying freckle what I look like. There are so many other things on my mind that what my face looks like- has taken a complete back seat. Scratch that- it hasn’t even taken a back seat- it’s been dropped off at the donation site and left behind. It’s just not a part of my brain. I’m struggling even writing this because it’s so not a thing.
This is why I was startled about how much it bothered me when my Mom started started posting things about this new skin care line, Roden + Fields, that claimed to take away her sun spots, wrinkles, and well- all the things I loved about her. Why would she even WANT to get rid of that stuff? And why, for the love of multi level marketing, is she posting it all over her facebook?? Ugh. I knew eventually she would personally write me and want to tell me about it and can I just be honest? I kind of dreaded it. I love my Mom, but how in the world was I suppose to say I don’t give a flying freckle about that stuff?
“No Mom, I like my sun spot, but thanks for noticing.”
“Actually, I like all those wrinkles and laugh lines too.”
“I really don’t even wear make-up let alone put cream on my face. ”
“Anti- aging? Should I know about what that means? Am I REALLY at that stage in my life?”
“Ok, fine Mom. Truth? I haven’t washed my face in twenty years and I go out in public with sleep in my eyes and no make up on. Yes, you can remove me from the will. I understand.”
All these responses spun in my head for a week or so. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, she was really happy and this kind of thing is totally her thing! I mean really- if I have questions about Organic anything, health, fitness, or even beauty- she’s my go to. I skip all the “professional” books and suggestions and go straight to the source- Mom. She’s a freaking walking encyclopedia for all this stuff. Seriously. It’s almost weird. But how was I suppose to say no thanks without making her feel….weird? UGH!! Being a daughter is hard ya’ll.
Finally…I got the message. She messaged me some videos to watch and why she thinks the products are so great. In her message, she pointed out that in fact- this stuff worked and she was seeing less of her sun spots and freckles, and less wrinkles. A few minutes after she sent the message someone posted a picture of her next to my brothers fiance’- and you couldn’t even tell the difference in age between them all. Whatever voodoo magic this stuff works on you….works. There she was, all young looking, fresh faced, beautiful, stunning, and stuff. **whatever**
Sigh. I still wasn’t interested though. Because well, I’m me. (I mean, if you buy Roden and Fields or whatever it’s called, you do you!!! I mean really- Mom looks even more amazing then before, and I didn’t think it was possible. I get it. It’s all good). And because I’m me, I just really didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I also didn’t want hear about her getting all young looking and stuff.
Then I realized why. I realized that those freckles, those sun spots- they are what made her my Mom. I remember when she got some of them! I remember studying them when she would read to me and I remember noticing that one year had been rough on her- there were a lot more wrinkles then before. I never ever thought she ever needed help beauty wise. She was perfect, and she should know it!! I toiled with that to say to my gorgeous Mom.
After some time thinking, I responded- and I wrote her this big long thing about how I love her imperfections and I’ll miss them. I told her I remember her getting them and those are what make her, her. I told her I liked my spots and earned every one of them. I told her how empowering it would be if more women just liked the way they looked. I told her she doesn’t need creams and make-up and the suns kisses on her skin only add to her beauty. I proudly hit, “send” and went to scroll around my FB while I anxiously awaited her response.
That’s when I saw something I never, ever, ever thought I would ever see. There- on FB for all the world to see- was a picture of my Mom without any make up on. None. Zero. She hadn’t even done her hair!!!!! That was the Mom I LOVED seeing, but few saw. You have to realize this is a big deal- when she was in her 40’s she wouldn’t even go to the mall without a fresh coast of blush. And here she is, aged and older- plastering her beautiful face all over the internets!!! My jaw dropped and in my head I said, “Ohhhh guuuuuuuuurl. No she didn’t!” Yup, she did.
I immediately thought of the FB message I sent her and my, “oh guuuurl,” change to, “can I delete that?? Has she seen it? CRAP.” I opened it up, and she had already read it. Double crap. Crap crap crap.
As is typical with my Mom she handled my long winded rejection very well and graciously. She didn’t let her rebellious, non showered daughter bring her down. She didn’t feel threatened by my unwashed face and “too good for creams” attitude. Sigh. Mothers, thank goodness they are so forgiving!
So here I am- openly saying that my Mom looks a decade younger then me because she freaking washes her face and I don’t wash mine. Will I change? Probably not. But she looks as good as she did a million years ago (yeah, she’s really that old) and I look well…like I don’t wash my face. Ever.
Thankfully there’s room in this world for the non face washers like me, and the religious face washers like my Mom. And thankfully, in Gods eyes- we are beautiful with or without said facewashing. Am I right?!
So be you. Wash that face. Or don’t. Wear that make up, or your kids breakfast. Whatever. Just be content- and love you. Because you’re beautiful, ok???